All In the Stars
by sassy lion
Summary: A story for after Season 3. John is reflecting back to what he and Aeryn had, now that he has a new life. This story was written by me basically to vent my feelings at the S3 end..


Title: All In the Stars  
  
Author: sassy_lion  
  
Summary: I have no idea… just some insane ramblings. John/Josiba pairing. (Josiba is my character. I just needed to write something to get over Aeryn leaving. John needs someone and I tried all I could to get my muse (by the same name) to come up with a good J/A fic, I realized later that I couldn't make it happen the way everyone wants it too. Still understanding of Aeryn's POV, I still think she shouldn't have left…  
  
Feedback: PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I need feedback!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I *will* welcome flames at any cost.  
  
Spoilers: Three cycles after Season 3 finale (ADWTB)  
  
Disclaimer: Rockne owns the world; I just live in it!  
  
Author's Notes: This was written during practical writing…Josiba came back in full swing! *LOL* (Josiba is the name of my muse, and a character in this story. She belongs to me!) I am mixing a little Nietzchean (from Andromeda) in here, just for fun for one of the insignificant characters. (Who knows I may bring her back in another story someday…)  
  
All In the Stars  
  
© sassy_lion April 2002  
  
It was a muggy night on Zadirana as John Crichton walked through the small open marketplace in search of something to eat. It had been nearly a cycle since he had come to this planet. He paused by the lakeside trying to remember what exactly had brought him here to this beautiful planet.  
  
FLASHBACK  
  
It had been one long ride ever since Moya had been pulled swiftly into the gaping wormhole that had appeared on her starboard bow. He had sat in his module for nearly an arn bickering with Harvey before being convinced to allow Harvey to mess with his breathing and body temperature, allowing him to live longer until a ship passed by or one of his crewmates came back and retrieved him.  
  
It turned up four solar days later when a Leviathan passed through the system. Realizing that John was still alive, Kosaam pulled him in with the docking web. When he had been revived, painfully, by a blue- colored DRD, he had walked up to the Pilot's den.  
  
He opened the door and saw Pilot, as every one of them is called, sitting in the same place as Pilot did on Moya.  
  
"Hey, thanks for pulling me out of there." He smiled gratefully and nodded.  
  
"Kosaam acted on her own accord, I had nothing to do with the decision." The female Pilot answered calmly as she tilted her head and looked at John with a wave of apprehension. "Was it wrong to allow her to?"  
  
"No." John smiled knowing full well what Pilot was asking. "I'm not a Peacekeeper. My name is John."  
  
"Then Kosaam and I welcome you aboard. Kosaam would like to know what you were doing alone in that…pod?"  
  
"My module was left behind when the Leviathan I live on, Moya, was pulled through a wormhole. I was escorting…a friend to the limits of Moya's sensor horizon. I was on my way back when the wormhole formed and Moya was lost." He looked at Pilot with such a sad look that she wondered if he was about to cry.  
  
"You lived on…Moya?" Pilot asked shocked and surprised. "The only Leviathan known to escape Peacekeeper custody?" she clarified even further.  
  
"Yep. That's my home, was my home." He corrected himself.  
  
"That would mean that you are John Crichton." Pilot spoke softly and John wondered if the next comment would be for him to not put them in danger and get off immediately. It surprised John when she spoke again, "Kosaam has conveyed to me that she would like you to stay on board, if it is at all possible…"  
  
"I'd be more than happy to stay. It beats drifting in a dead module." He smiled slightly to himself, momentarily wondering where Aeryn was at the moment. **No, don't think of Aeryn, she left.** "Thank you."  
  
A blue DRD came up behind John and bumped him in the back of the foot. He turned around and smiled at the DRD with enthusiasm.  
  
"I will prepare quarters for you as soon as possible. In the meantime, do you know a lot about Leviathans?"  
  
"As much as I ever needed to."  
  
"As a request, Kosaam would appreciate it if you could fix some conduits in the neural cluster. The DRD's are not very well equip to deal with changing the conduits in there, and we have not had company for quite some time." Pilot manipulated one of the panels to produce a comms badge. She held it out and John graciously accepted.  
  
"On my way." He clamored out of the den and quickly made his way to the neural cluster.  
  
  
  
John strolled down the small dock that extended into the waters of the lake. It was a nice night, maybe about 65 (if he used Earth measurements) and there was an unobstructed view of the stars courtesy of the rainstorm that had passed the day before.  
  
He sat down on the edge and quietly pulled off his thin coat. He set it down on the dock next to him and began to think about what had happened over the last three cycles since he had been "abandoned" by Moya.  
  
He couldn't really call it being "abandoned" since Moya was tossed through that frelling wormhole, but in a way he had still thought himself "lost" without the crew he had come to depend on so much for guidance, friendship and love. He had another crew, but it was not nearly the same. Sure there was still the cute rebellious Nebari, and an ex-peacekeeper, but…  
  
He sighed and gave up on the thought. He carefully brought his knees up under his chin and stared at the stars wondering where the crew, well both of the crews were at the moment.  
  
  
  
It had been that way for nearly a cycle. John working on Kosaam, fixing the problems the DRDs couldn't reach, and most importantly keeping her out of Peacekeeper hands. After a few weekens, Kosaam gained a crew.  
  
First was Teisola, a very…resourceful Nebari girl who had escaped Nebari Prime a few short monens earlier under a non-conformist rebellion. **Almost exactly like Chiana, except a little older and a lot more mature than Chiana had been when she had come on board Moya.**  
  
Next was Josiba, a Suichin. Her species was new to him, as was she. She was about five six, with deep blue, almost black, eyes and a three- and-a-half-foot long tail that matched her tan skin color. Her proudest feature, according to everyone, was her hair, which was deep purplish-blue. It was soft-curled and came to her ankles when she wore it down. She usually kept it in a long ponytail that accented her soft facial features. Another one of her most… interesting feature was her ears. They were unlike any others. They were more like cat ears, than anything else, and Josiba wore them proudly. According to her, the kolsoa ears were the most desired feature any Suichin could have. But her attitude was hers and hers alone. Although, in ways she tended to be a little like Aeryn had been. She had no qualms about killing if she needed to or doing whatever necessary to help a fellow crewmember, as long as it got done. **Efficient, like a Peacekeeper** John had once thought.  
  
The next to come on board was L'Pasin, a Kinsoba. In the beginning, he had mistaken her for a Sebecean. She was about five six, like Josiba, and she was tan in color also in color. She had light brown hair, and piercing green eyes. What differed her from a Sebecean were the three long spikes that protruded from both of her forearms. They could be folded against her forearms when she desired. If they were removed, about a weeken later, they would start to regenerate. She was kind and affectionate when she wanted to be, but she could also be so cold and ruthless at points, it would be wondered if she had a sweet side.  
  
The last to come on board was a Sebecean male named Tal Marctin. He had been a Peacekeeper officer before he had been captured at the Battle of Rezalk. First Command learned he had helped the small group of rebels and he was discharged without honor, bringing shame to his regiment and his family name.  
  
  
  
**Where was Aeryn now?** John wondered as he saw a couple stroll past him whispering in each other's ears. **Would she have settled down somewhere with the baby? Maybe she didn't even have it. Is she still searching the stars for some sort of purpose with that group she had left to find? Maybe she is searching for me?** He tilted his head and stared at the couple, which was now farther away. **Would she have figured out that both me and…the other me were in a sense the same?**  
  
He looked up at the sky and noticed a small transport pod coming for a landing. He followed the pod's trajectory to the spaceport across the small town. It was a Leviathan pod, maybe someone from one of the two crews he had belonged to, but at the moment, he didn't have enough energy to go and investigate. Instead, he just turned his head back and continued to stare at the sky.  
  
  
  
The end had come as the Peacekeepers had sent out a dispatch party to search for more Leviathans, consequently running into the crew as they entered the vicinity of a much-needed commerce planet. John and Josiba had agreed to take the commerce planet alone, leaving Tal to Command; L'Pasin and Teisola to continue repairs on Kosaam's systems.  
  
"John," Tal's voice came through the comms swiftly. "I'm detecting a Peacekeeper dispatch party changing vector and heading right for us!"  
  
"We'll be heading up in 90 microts, is the party close enough to capture Kosaam before we're aboard?"  
  
"It'll be here in 6,000 microts. If you're going to get back, get on that pod now!"  
  
John and Josiba ran through the crowds on Morso and managing to out of the tent quickly. On their way back to the pod, a prowler had landed no more than 100 metras away, the two occupants got out and started to fire on the two.  
  
Josiba was hit twice in the shoulder on her way and fell down. John, noticing she wasn't keeping up, turned around and hauled her to her feet. Unfortunately, that gave the occupants of the prowler a chance to catch up and grab John.  
  
*-*  
  
Josiba slipped silently to a nearby weapon stall and grabbed five knives. She stuck one in each of her boots, one inside each of the tight bands on her forearm. She made her way back to where John was being dragged off by the two Peacekeepers, unconscious.  
  
She charged them and from behind slit both of their throats in a matter of 35 microts. A few moments later, after assessing the current situation, she realized they would never make it back to the pod in time. She unceremoniously dragged John through the crowd as fast as she could and dropped him in a damp alleyway.  
  
She tapped her comms urgently, "Tal. Tal come in."  
  
"Are you two on your way up? The dispatch party is closing fast!"  
  
"No. Apparently there was already Peacekeeper activity on this planet. We were ambushed. Starburst away, and I'll make sure John and I stay safe. Pick us up when you think it is safe to."  
  
"Josiba! We--"  
  
"Protect Kosaam. That's what we are all to do. Keep her from the Peacekeepers…unless you'd like to be locked in a cell on a Command carrier for the next 50 cycles or more." She turned her comms off and turned her attention back to John.  
  
**Please, John, wake up. I can't do this alone.** She always did what she had to for the good of the crew, but when it came to being by herself in the middle of a crisis, she almost always panicked and became agitated.  
  
"Come on, John!" she clamored over his prone form and slapped him across the face just hard enough to leave a mark.  
  
He began to stir then and slowly opened his eyes. "Throwing water on me gets a better result." He smiled and grabbed her hand. "What happened?"  
  
Josiba smiled for a brief microt and then pulled him to his feet sharply. "We were ambushed. Peacekeepers. They have the pod surrounded, so we won't be getting off this rock any time soon. I ordered Pilot to starburst away before he and Kosaam were caught. I couldn't do much else. Tal will comm us when she gets near to the planet again. If she can't, we will be commed and then we will have to find our own way off this planet."  
  
"Frell. Just when I thought we were free of Peacekeepers."  
  
Josiba looked at him with a dangerously sharp gaze. "We will never be free of Peacekeepers. Everyone knows there is still a bounty on you and they won't stop until it's cleared."  
  
"No, that's not…never mind. So, Kosaam got away?"  
  
"Yes. Now the question is, are you okay?"  
  
"Yeah." He reached around and rubbed the back of his neck. "I have a headache, but that'll go away."  
  
They headed for a nearby inn and checked in for the night under assumed names, just for precaution. When they got to the room, which was rather decadent for a commerce planet, John unceremoniously flopped on the bed and flung an arm over his face.  
  
Josiba smiled and closed her eyes for a moment to clear her head. **No, I can't.** she thought as she carefully shed her clothes and took a nice, relaxing shower. **John occupies too many of my thoughts.**  
  
She carefully stepped out of the shower and slipped back into her clothes. She stepped out of the shower room and found John sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at the dimming sky.  
  
"John…"  
  
"Come here." He beckoned softly.  
  
She felt her heart began to flutter quicker with every step she took. It was no secret that she had feelings for John. She had conveyed that the first moment she had seen fit aboard Kosaam.  
  
The problem was John. He was well reserved in feelings. It had taken her nearly a half-cycle to coax him out of admitting that he liked her. He never willingly explained his past aboard Moya to the others, only out of necessity had he explained why the Peacekeepers were after him, and even then the explanation was short and to the point.  
  
She had admitted about eight weekens before this current excursion that she didn't want to be alone anymore. It had sounded dumb at the time, but he had known what she meant. She wanted a relationship. During those eight weekens, she had slept once with him in his bed, by invitation.  
  
She finally reached John's place on the bed and he pulled her into an embrace. He pointed out to the largest star in the sky. "That's my star," he replied softly, "I use it to navigate. I used to call it Aeryn."  
  
Josiba felt a change coming in John, "Who was Aeryn?" she asked softly, not wanting to disrupt his reverie.  
  
"She was one of the only women I loved in my life. She lived on board Moya with me after she was irreversibly contaminated by Crais." He continued to explain his life aboard Moya, in full detail, something that surprised her. By the time he finished the story and answering her endless questions. It was fully dark, nearly pitch black, outside.  
  
She had only two questions left to ask, but she hesitated. He noticed and asked, "What is it?"  
  
"Why…why did you tell me all this?"  
  
"Because I realize I am at a point now where I know that I may never see Aeryn again. I don't want to live in the past anymore. I…I want to start over. With you."  
  
Josiba took in a deep breath and pulled herself even closer to John. "I love you, John." She whispered.  
  
"I love you, too, Josiba." He leaned down. She had initiative and gave him a deep kiss. As they broke apart for air, John started to slide her top off of her shoulders, as she began to do the same. Before they went any further, he pulled away and pointed to another star that was equally as bright as the one he called Aeryn. "That's my new star. I named it Josiba."  
  
She fell asleep a few microts later with a smile on her face and John's arms wrapped protectively around her.  
  
  
  
**Aeryn**(Present)  
  
Aeryn landed on the planet. **Another commerce planet. Frell.** she thought as she began to search the marketplace for signs of anybody she knew. It had been nearly four cycles since she had last seen anyone from Moya's crew, except for Chiana, who she had seen a half- cycle earlier when she was transferring shipping barges. Chiana had alerted her about John, who (according to Peacekeeper records) had gone missing in the Uncharted Territories.  
  
Apparently, Chiana had been keeping up on all the crew and told Aeryn that he was to be found on the planet of Zadirana near Nebari occupied territory. **Leave it to John to live on a backwater commerce planet.**  
  
She weaved her way through the crowded street to the edge of the large lake. **John always admitted he liked water.** She began to work her way to the docks when she noticed a prone form sitting on the edge. **John.** she thought as she quickly moved toward the dock.  
  
She stopped about a metra away when she noticed a slinky girl wearing a white top and short blue pants that only came slightly past her knees, step up onto the dock. Aeryn moved behind one of the tall trees and watched with interest as the girl, who couldn't have been older than twenty-five (by Aeryn's standards) step over to John and wrap her tail around his waist, much to Aeryn's disappointment. In complete shock and utter frustration she just stood behind the tree and watch the events unfold in front of her eyes.  
  
  
  
**John**  
  
John felt someone else step on to the dock as his eyelids began to grow heavy with both sadness and a plain exhaustion of the day's events. He felt a tail wrap around his waist and he reached back. Pulling tan hands into his lap, he felt, more than saw, Josiba set down and push her ears in that spot on John's neck, right below his ears, that she knew he liked so much; as she did every night.  
  
"John, are you going to sit on this dock all night?" she asked as she nuzzled her ears against his throat, bringing a shiver of pleasure through his body. "It's getting late."  
  
"Just another minute, kitten."  
  
She smiled at the use of his "pet" name for her. He had explained to her what a kitten looked like soon after he started calling her kitten. She had decided she looked similar to the (according to John) cute little creature, so she allowed him to keep his pet name for her.  
  
"John, are you going to sit on this dock all night?" she asked again as he began to restlessly shuffle.  
  
"No, I'll be up in a microt." he whispered and passionately kissed her warm lips. "Keep the bed warm, kitten?"  
  
She nodded soundlessly padded off the dock and headed back the way she came, unknowingly passing Aeryn as she went.  
  
"I know your here, Aeryn, you can come out on the dock now," he called into the darkness. "I saw you come down the path." his voice was still monotone and unfeeling.  
  
She cautiously stepped out on to the dock with her head slightly bowed. "Chiana told me you were on this back-water commerce planet."  
  
"Figures that Chiana would keep tabs on all of us, since we couldn't for each other." John's voice was still monotone, but it now carried a slight hint of anger. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"I came to find you, John." Aeryn admitted.  
  
"Why? Couldn't you fix everything on your own? Always need my help?" he lashed out as he stood up and came face-to-face with her. "I can't say that I'm never happy to see you, but you stayed away for four whole cycles, why come back now?"  
  
"I..." she stuttered, "I should have never left." Aeryn spoke after what seemed like an arn of silence.  
  
"Well, you did. Right when Moya needed all of us the most." A moment of silence gathered between the two of them as John realized he had, somewhat, done the same. "Well, I did the same, not by choice, by accident. And now I have another. Another life, another purpose, another love. She won't leave me if I ever get twinned again, she may yell at me, be mad, but she doesn't put up a ten-foot-thick brick wall to keep everyone out, and she certainly knows me as well as you did."  
  
"I couldn't watch that happen again. Watch you die."  
  
"People die all the time, Aeryn. I watched my mother slowly die over several YEARS of cancer. I never got over it, but I moved on. After Moya got sucked through that wormhole, I had another Leviathan in my care." He looked carefully at Aeryn, seeing not much expression, he continued, "She was captured and made into another prison ship for the Peacekeepers alongside all the people I had grown to care for. Tal, L'Pasin and Teisola were all put into Peacekeeper custody because of both mine and Jisoba's actions."  
  
Aeryn laid her hand on John's arm in comfort, but he immediately pulled away. "For nearly a cycle, I wondered what was going on where you were. Were you safe? Was what the old woman told me true? If it were true, would I ever see the baby? Or would there be another child in the universe that was technically mine, but I would never see? Everything has a beginning and an end. The day you stepped off Moya for good was the day I knew it had ended for us. Screw fates. It was up to you, and you alone all along."  
  
"John, the baby..." Aeryn interjected.  
  
"No," he interrupted, "I don't want to hear about it. You told me that I would never be lost, well the day Moya and Talyn separated at Canvia, I became lost. I lost my gun, I lost my notes, my star charts, and I lost you. Now I finally have some of it back here on Zadirana. All we ever had was in the stars and I'm not going back until I know I am ready. This is my home now." He pushed past Aeryn and began head toward the edge of the dock, he paused for a moment and looked directly at her with deep sadness, "I moved on, Aeryn, so should you."  
  
He moved slowly back toward her and gave her a soft kiss to convey that he wasn't truly angry with her. "I'll never forget what we had, Aeryn." he whispered softly, "I just can't go back now. Not until I'm ready." He softly walked off the dock, pausing to look back at her soft figure walking toward the edge he had just been sitting at. **I'm sorry, Aeryn, after four cycles of misery and waiting for you, I've found someone. I can't give up on her, but I will never stop loving you, baby.**  
  
She nodded, tears streaming down her face, and stopped on the end of the dock, carefully looking into the still water. "The baby is safe, John." she said over the sobs. "I named him after you."  
  
He smiled one of his patented smiles and nodded appreciatively, "Aeryn, this time, the fates will protect the three of us. It won't be our choice, but when the time comes, I'll be waiting for you in the stars." he smiled as she turned around, tears still streaming down her cheeks, turning them red.  
  
"I'll be waiting there, too. Jack and I both will be." Aeryn spoke softly as she walked to where he was standing and stopped.  
  
He kissed her soundly on the lips and turned back, silently walking back to the life the fates had given him.  
  
  
  
We both agree  
  
We spoke too soon,  
  
But for what it is worth  
  
Our lives, our fates,  
  
Are all in the stars.  
  
~Nicole Jahnke  
  
*-*-*-*-*  
  
See I *can* write a bashing fic, maybe the end turned out sappy, but I finally wrote a bashing fic! OKAY, it sucked. I know. ( :P ) ( PLEASE review by clicking on the little box below here. I'll take anything I can get. Constructive criticism, hell, I'll take flames! Just let me know what you thought. ((( 


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